I'm A Bad Blogger and This Post Has No Point Really. Sorry.

I really meant to keep up on this thing. I had the best intentions of keeping it updated, but to be honest, not much has been happening.

Well, that's not true. We finally got a house! We get the keys next Monday and we are really excited to start making it ours.

Also, I actually look like I'm pregnant, not just like I had a big lunch. It's very bizarre to wake up one day and BAM, your stomach is round and there is not a chance in hell you can suck that bad boy in. Then again, I've heard a lot of the morbidly obese people on "The Biggest Loser" say the same thing. I'm not sure where I was going with that comparison... Moving on.

These days I require 9 hours of sleep minimum or I start to fall asleep at my desk. I'm no longer nauseous at all in the morning, or at any other point in the day, but if I am in the passenger seat of the car for too long I will get the urge to vomit, and 4 out of 5 times, actually do so once the car ride is over. This will probably be the last post in which I mention getting sick and/or vomiting. You are welcome.

So, I'm 18 1/2 weeks pregnant today, which means in 1 1/2 weeks at the 20 week anatomy scan ultrasound we will find out if we're having a boy or girl. People keep asking me what I want, and I refuse to answer. What a stupid question.

It's kind of an awful thing to ask, right? I don't even think about it myself, who cares anyway?

Am I going to love it any less depending on the gender? No. Does the thought of a penis growing inside of me freaks me out a little bit? Absolutely.

But the entire process of growing ANYTHING inside me that will one day do walk, talk and take all of my money scares the living shit out of me.

So I guess it's all relative.

A lowpoint.

About twenty minutes ago, I poured myself a bowl of my favorite psuedo-healthy cereal.

About fifteen minutes ago, I realized I was going to throw it up .

About ten minutes ago, the retching began.

I could not catch my breath, had a esophageal malfunction, and

IT. CAME. OUT. MY. NOSE.

Seriously.

The 1st trimester, or, a Lesson In The Art of Vomiting Gracefully.

I found out I was pregnant in mid July. For the first seven days, I felt like a million bucks. I had read on the internet that 80% of women get some form of morning sickness, but there are those few that simply get to avoid it altogether. I was confident that I would be one of those. Lucky me.

Cut to the very next day. I get up at 5:00am like every day, to take the dog (and the cats) on their morning field trip to the grass three flights down to relieve themselves. As we are all ascending back up to the apartment, I place one foot on the step and begin to put weight on my leg.

And to that, my stomach said, “Gehhhhhhhhh.”

I paused a moment, then continued. I got dizzy, a little lightheaded, even. I grasped the railing in the stairway and continued my climb, which at this point had grown from an irritating jaunt I had to repeat several times a day to climbing up a rockwall while totally hungover. By the time I made it to the top stair, my stomach was in full revolt. I was totally going to barf.

I spent most of that morning with my head on the toilet seat (bless my husband for just having cleaned it the day before). I also spent a majority of the afternoon and some of the evening that way as well.

That continued for three straight days. After a while, I just gave in to the sickness. I let the submission wash over me and resigned to my new life as a chronic regurgitator. It continued in a not-as-strong fashion for 2 more months. In fact, I still get sick every few days.

So many people were quick to give me advice – Lollipops! Crackers! Warm ginger ale! Fruit bat saliva (not really)! – I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but all of that advice can blow me. I tried EVERYTHING I could find on the internet, in magazines, even things my doctor suggested would not quell the nauseating sickness that had pervaded and made itself so comfortable in my digestive track.

I could seriously write a full on novel about all of things I threw up over the next 2.5 months. Ironically enough, it was all of the healthy, good for you foods (fruits, veggies, and whole grains) that came up fast and furious, while the not so good for you foods (Bagel Bites, cookies, chicken fingers) seemed to keep stay in my stomach longer than an hour.

But even MORE fun that what I threw up is WHERE I THREW IT UP. Oh yes, my friends, I became a public puker. Please take not that I began bringing heavy duty plastic bags most everywhere I went, so none of this is quite as gross as it sounds. That last part is a lie.

*In my car
*In Travis’ car
*In my car while driving
*In Travis’ car while driving
*In a dressing room while trying on dresses to wear to my wedding
*On the floor of the kitchen at work
*In the every bathroom stall at my work
*In every sink in our house
*Outside our apartment where the dog poops
*In 7 backyards of houses we were looking to buy
*In the landscaped island in the parking lot of a CVS
*Several public restrooms, the toilets of which you wouldn’t normally dream of putting your face anywhere near. Ever.

Now, go back to enjoying your sandwich.

Sonogram: 7 weeks

Sonogram taken on August 3 to determine fetal size. Estimated due date: March 23rd, 2010. I will being posting more in the following weeks, as I am just now beginning to lift my head out of the toilet. Thank you for your patience.

Testes, one two....

Test.